So, Big Tech, In Collusion with the Federal Government, Can and Will Demonetize, Shadow-Ban, and Otherwise ‘Cancel’ the Likes of Yours Truly, Ben Shapiro, Russell Brand, RFK, Jr., Dr. Robert Malone, et.al, With the Simple Push of a Button…But Is ‘Completely Powerless’ to Stop Hamas from Posting and Broadcasting Brutal Hostage Executions.
Stating that the Church does not seem to ‘get it,’ God Himself has ordered all Bishops, Cardinals, and even the Pope to attend a seminar entitled ‘Excommunication 101.’ The Princes of the Church have recently been hiding behind the canonical premise that excommunication is only to be used as a redemptive tool, not as punishment. This does not explain, however, numerous Church-decreed excommunications throughout the centuries that were handed down posthumously, as redemption after death is in God’s domain only, and rather ineffective temporally.
Similar classes have been held throughout the centuries: in the 6th century after St. Columba was excommunicated for “praying for the winning side in an Irish war,” and again in the 17th century after Pope Urban VIII excommunicated Mikolaj Sapieha for ‘stealing a painting.’ “Not what I had in mind,” declared God, on both occasions. The Twelfth century excommunication of Ralph I, Count of Vermandois, for “repudiating his lawful wife and marrying another” prompted a warning from God, “if you thought this was bad, just wait till the twentieth century.” The seminar had to be repeated once again in the 1940’s after the Church failed to excommunicate Adolph Hitler. “That was an easy one. SMH,” tweeted God.
Even now, there are many examples of excommunication ignorance: Cardinal Timothy Dolan’s refusal to excommunicate his friend and bridge partner, Gov. Andrew Cuomo, for his “demonic obsession with, and promotion of, the slaughter of the wholly innocent” (God’s words, not mine); Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden (slam dunk cases); and Jesuit ‘priest,’ Fr. James Martin, a poster boy for heresy and an avid apologetic for numerous ‘abominations.’ “OK, one more time,” began an exasperated God.
The former President was reportedly busy consuming 2,000 calories over the weekend while Dreamers are starving and puppies are dying. Congress will commence an investigation immediately. Legal experts now predict Trump’s imminent indictment, as he was also caught purchasing a half-caf latte at Sheetz – obviously a racist gas station. Rep. Al Green has demanded Trump’s removal from society, citing new ‘incontrovertible evidence’ that Trump is actually Satan, primarily because of his orange hair. In other news, it has been confirmed that the ex-President has found a cure for cancer but is being widely condemned for playing golf last weekend and misspelling the word ‘oncological’ in a late night tweet.
BREAKING: Trump to be indicted for Hunter Biden's crimes. DOJ Taps Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler and Jamie Raskin as Special Counsel.
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